SKU: 65380396907

Global Warming Fan Club Garment-dyed Heavyweight Long-sleeve Shirt

Sale price$34.20 Regular price$38.00
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Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Aug 15 - Aug 20

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Description

Global Warming Fan Club Garment-dyed Heavyweight Long-sleeve ShirtListen, were from Minnesota, where winter tries to kill you every single year, so youll have to excuse us if were a little skeptical about the whole "Earth is getting too hot" thing. Too hot? Where?! Because I just spent 20 minutes scraping ice off my windshield with a debit card after my scraper snapped in half like a stale breadstick. Look, were not saying climate change isnt realwere just saying its really awesome. And were supposed to believe that

Listen, we’re from Minnesota, where winter tries to kill you every single year, so you’ll have to excuse us if we’re a little skeptical about the whole "Earth is getting too hot" thing. Too hot? Where?! Because I just spent 20 minutes scraping ice off my windshield with a debit card after my scraper snapped in half like a stale breadstick.

Look, we’re not saying climate change isn’t real—we’re just saying it’s really awesome.

 

And we’re supposed to believe that the same people who can’t fix potholes and think printing more money makes everything cheaper are suddenly the Masters of the Atmosphere™? Yeah, sure. Next, they’ll be telling us they can control hurricanes with a tax.

That brings us to this premium heavyweight long-sleeve—a must-have for any member of the Global Warming Fan Club, where we celebrate the grift, the hysteria, and the world’s most expensive virtue signal. The design features a poor polar bear adrift at sea, which, if we’re being honest, probably just swam out too far because he got distracted by a school of delicious, oily seals. But sure, let’s blame my pickup truck.

Printed on a thick, ultra-soft, garment-dyed cotton shirt, this long-sleeve is pre-shrunk and rugged enough to withstand both winter and sanctimonious lectures from that one guy in your office who just got a Tesla and won’t shut up about it.

Features & Specs:

100% premium ring-spun cotton – softer than the EPA’s definition of "science"
6.1 oz heavyweight fabric – built tougher than your local weatherman’s credibility
Garment-dyed & pre-shrunk – won’t shrink, unlike Arctic ice that has been "disappearing" since 1979
Relaxed fit – because the real climate crisis is the price of a gym membership
Twill-taped neck and shoulders – for durability, just in case Al Gore personally tries to rip it off you

Wear it to your next ice fishing trip, at Thanksgiving just to see which relatives flinch, or while you Google how many “climate deadlines” we’ve blown past since 1998. Either way, you’ll be cozy.

Get yours before they’re banned. 🐻‍❄️🔥

Features & Specs:

100% premium ring-spun cotton – soft enough to make you forget you’re freezing
6.1 oz heavyweight fabric – just like Grandma’s winter stew, built to last
Garment-dyed & pre-shrunk – won’t shrink, unlike our daylight hours in January
Relaxed fit – because let’s be honest, winter weight is a thing
Twill-taped neck and shoulders – extra reinforcement for when you’re hunched over, cursing the sky

Wear it to your next ice fishing trip, mandatory family gathering, or as a passive-aggressive jab at that one guy who insists “it’s just a cycle”. Either way, you’ll be comfortable, and that’s more than we can say for the bear.

Grab yours before they’re gone—just like our patience for winter. ❄️🔥

Size guide

  LENGTH (inches) CHEST (inches) SLEEVE LENGTH (inches)
S 26 ⅝ 31-34 31 ⅞
M 28 34-37 33 ¾
L 29 ¾ 38-41 36 ⅞
XL 30 ¾ 42-45 37 ¼
2XL 31 ⅝ 46-49 38 ¾
3XL 32 ½ 50-53 39 ¾
  LENGTH (cm) CHEST (cm) SLEEVE LENGTH (cm)
S 67.6 78.7-86.4 81
M 71.1 86.4-94 85.7
L 75.6 96.5-104.1 93.7
XL 78.1 106.7-114.3 94.6
2XL 80.3 116.8-124.5 98.4
3XL 82.6 127-134.6 101
Shipping Notes
  • Free Standard Shipping on $100+ Orders to the USA.
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Exchange/Return Notes
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  • Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
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SKU: 65380396907

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4.6 ★★★★★
Based on 10 reviews
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Product Reviews
J
Verified Purchase
J. Rothenberger
Louisville, US
★★★★★ 3
The Ad got me, the reality didn't
Style: Variety Pack - Large (3-pack)
Directly from the ad- "Exclusive Noisemakers - Each large toy includes 3 high-quality round squeakers to deliver more sound to keep your best friend entertained.". Now my neighbor bought this squirrel with three high-quality squeakers nearly a year ago. It's ragged and tattered I just recently sewed it up for him where he chewed the one leg odd, but those three noise makers are still squeaking. Whe I got my pup, I immediately went to buy one and they were no longer selling them, so I've been on a search for one or an equivalent. These are not. There's no stuffing to get all over the place when your pup breaks into it, a plus. However the squeakers weren't particularly loud and were silenced in a few hours. Two were dead and the remaining one was very well on its way. The toy itself was pretty much intact but that had more to do with the lack of attention from the dog than how rugged the toy is. He'll pick it up once in a while but it certainly didn't meet my expectations. The good thing is that there are three of them so I can give him some brief excitement in the future. Wouldn't buy again.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2023
E
Verified Purchase
Eileen
Boise, US
★★★★★ 5
Strong Chewer Friendly Toy
Style: Variety Pack - Large (3-pack)
My dog is a rough chewer and these last a really long time (clearly since this beaver's face is long gone! The no stuffing is a win too for cleaning up afterwards.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2026
A
Verified Purchase
Ann Whittington
Omaha, US
★★★★★ 5
Dog toy
Mammoth Flossy Chews 100 Percent Natural Cotton Rope Dog Toy is an absolute hit with my furry friend! The premium quality, natural cotton rope construction ensures durability and safety for hours of interactive play. The white knot design adds an extra element of fun and intrigue, perfect for tug-of-war sessions or solo chewing. Despite its sturdy build, it's gentle on my dog's teeth and gums. Plus, the mini 6" size is ideal for small dogs, providing them with a satisfying chewing experience. Overall, Mammoth Flossy Chews earns a solid 5-star rating for its quality, durability, and entertainment value for my pup!
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2024
C
Verified Purchase
carol
Waukegan, US
★★★★★ 5
Great for chewing and fetching
Size: Small (9 in), Style: 2 Knot Rope Bone, Size: Small (9 in), Style: 2 Knot Rope Bone
My puppy was chewing everything and this satisfied her urge to chew. As a bonus she also loves playing fetch with it. The rope is about 8 inches long overall, but only about 3 inches from the insides of one knot to the inside of the other knot. This is great for a puppy or small dog. My puppy loves to chew on this rope, especially at the knots. When we first got this rope we could play tug of war with it, but as she has grown, we eventually needed a longer rope for safety playing tug of war so my hands don’t get too close to her mouth. We have had this one for about 3 months and it is holding up really well. It has survived the washing machine nicely. My puppy is a chihuahua mix and is currently 7 months old and about 10 pounds. She is probably an average chewer. Definitely not a dog that destroys a toy in a day.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2024
H
Verified Purchase
Haley H.
Lowell, US
★★★★★ 5
Cutesyyyy
Size: Small (9 in), Style: 2 Knot Rope Bone
My dog loves this rope toy! I thought it would feel cheap and unravel easy, but it actually seems quite durable and my puppy seems to like the way it feels as well.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2025

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