SKU: 37703021266

Pornstar Martini

Sale price$43.20 Regular price$48.00
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Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Aug 22 - Aug 27

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Description

Pornstar MartiniLadies, gentlemen, and degenerates of exquisite taste behold our Pornstar Martini, a canned bacchanal so utterly excessive, so lusciously unhinged, that it might just wink at you before kissing your sensibilities on the mouth. This is not a drink. This is a performance piece for your mouth. Crafted with glistening precision, this sensorial carnival begins with Specialty distilled Vodka as smooth and silky as a Parisian scandal. We then dive headlong

Ladies, gentlemen, and degenerates of exquisite taste - behold our Pornstar Martini, a canned bacchanal so utterly excessive, so lusciously unhinged, that it might just wink at you before kissing your sensibilities on the mouth. This is not a drink. This is a performance piece for your mouth.

Crafted with glistening precision, this sensorial carnival begins with Specialty distilled Vodka as smooth and silky as a Parisian scandal. We then dive headlong into South American Passionfruit so ripe, so fragrant, it should have its own OnlyFans. But we don’t stop there. Oh no. We drape this tropical hedonism in the rich, velvety embrace of Madagascan Vanilla, a bean so luxurious it’s banned in some Protestant households. And then, just to slap your palate awake, we splash in fresh lime juice, the citrusy lightning bolt that balances the debauchery with a zesty “bonjour, lover.”

But where, you cry, does this nectarous nonsense come from? Step into the stilettoed footsteps of the late, great Douglas Ankrah, the genius mixologist who birthed the Pornstar Martini in early-2000s London. His goal? To make a cocktail as cheeky, lavish, and unforgettable as the nightlife that inspired it. The name? A bold, irreverent homage to the unapologetic glam of the adult film industry - a drink meant to tease, titillate, and make your friends ask, “Wait, what did you just order?”

But here’s the clincher, the true coup de grâce of this decadent darling: it’s traditionally served with a sidecar of Champagne. Why? Because Douglas knew that some desires deserve two parts. The Pornstar Martini is pleasure layered - sip the cocktail, then follow it with a shot of bubbles to cleanse, elevate, and reset your tastebuds for another round of sin. Or chaos. Or both. We don't judge.

Now imagine all that - the drama, the swagger, the gold-dusted luxury - compacted into one of our iconic, award-winning cans. Ready to go wherever your inner diva takes you. Rooftop soirée? Obnoxious hens’ weekend? Solo Tuesday bath cry? It delivers. Cold. Sexy. Consistent. Every. Damn. Time.

And let’s be real: no one drinks a Pornstar Martini for subtlety. This is not a quiet, introspective tipple. This is a strut, a cackle, a pop song played at an inappropriately loud volume. It’s flirty, fruity, and utterly shameless - just like you should be.

So go on, be a little scandalous. Peel back the ring-pull, pour it into a coupe glass (or don't - decadence doesn’t discriminate), serve with a chilled shot of sparkling wine, and channel your inner chaos goblin.

Shipping Notes
  • Free Standard Shipping on $100+ Orders to the USA.
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Exchange/Return Notes
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  • Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
  • To process your return/exchange, please contact us at [email protected]
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SKU: 37703021266

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4.3 ★★★★★
Based on 15 reviews
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Primarilus
Belleville, US
★★★★★ 1
Shelf is nice, bracing is garbage.
Color: Black, Size: 35.6W x 11.6D x 2H, 2 Pack
Just like all the other reviews, it sags. Regardless of how its mounted to the wall, the bracing itself is weak. Shelf is nice though, definitely would have to get different brackets to make this worth it.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2026
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Verified Purchase
Gina R.
Lake Worth, US
★★★★★ 3
Decent shelf
Color: Walnut, Size: 35.6W x 11.6D x 2H, 2 Pack, Color: Walnut, Size: 35.6W x 11.6D x 2H, 2 Pack
They look great and come exactly as described. They were super easy to install and came with everything you need. Sizing is exactly as described. For the price they’re all around a great purchase. I bought these to mount under our tv for video game consoles and they are perfect. However, they do not sit well on the wall. There’s only two mounting points when they should definitely have 3. We had to go get a shelf bracket from lowe’s to get it to sit right and not lean forward. So just beware if you want it to sit flush, you’re going to need something additional. Still worth it for the price!
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Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2026
P
Verified Purchase
Paiger
Lowell, US
★★★★★ 5
Thanks to Amazon
Color: White, Size: 35.6W x 11.6D x 2H, 2 Pack
Well, one thing I have to say is we got one white shelf and one brown shelf and it did look like the box had been opened. But that being said Amazon was very wonderful and told us to keep it took it off my bill. They didn’t even charge me for it. The assembly was super easy. My husband said it was very easy to install. All he did was paint the brown and white and put it on the wall so we lucked out on that one thank you
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Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2026
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Amazon Customer
Grantham, US
★★★★★ 4
Works well with new hardware.
Color: White, Size: 24W x 11.6D x 2H, 2 Pack
The product is good and strong if you install the bracket securely to the wall. Do not use the supplied fasteners for sheet rock. Buy new fasteners at Home Depot that clamp tightly to the sheet rock and everything will be fine.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2026
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Wayne Hawksley
Pawtucket, US
★★★★★ 5
Black floating shelves
Color: Black, Size: 24W x 11.6D x 2H, 2 Pack, Color: Black, Size: 24W x 11.6D x 2H, 2 Pack
Look nice, not solid wood, but for the price they do the job!
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Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2026

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